Friday, July 15, 2011

Recall Notice

I was going through some old bulletins I had made for the church Dave and I had gone to sometime back and I came upon the following. I must have received this in an email and put it on the back of the bulletin. I hope you will enjoy it as I have.


Recall Notice

The Maker of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart.

This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype unit's code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units.

This defect has been technically termed, "Sub sequential Internal Non-mortality," or more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed.

Some other symptoms:
1. Loss of direction
2. Foul vocal emissions
3. Amnesia of origin
4. Lack of peace and joy
5. Selfish, or violent behavior
6. Depression or confusion in the mental component
7. Fearfulness
8. Idolatry
9. Rebellion

The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this SIN defect.

The Repair Technician, Jesus, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required.

The number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R. Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure.

Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component.

No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:
1. Love                 
2. Joy
3. Peace                
4. Patience
5. Kindness           
6. Goodness
7. Faithfulness
8. Gentleness
9. Self control

Please see the operation manual: The B.I.B.L.E. (Believers Instructions Before Leaving Earth), for further details on the use of these fixes.

WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded. For free emergency service, call on JESUS.

DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility.

Thank you for your Attention! GOD

Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice!!!!
____________________

May you always know the love, joy, and peace of the Lord!

3 comments:

Debi said...

I LOVE THIS!! I don't recall ever seeing it but it is perfect in this age of technology in which we live. I might just have to copy it down and make it into a poster.

Thank you for sharing!

Love you bunches, Mama!

Kandi said...

Deane,

I love this!!

I am working on starting a blog board to hang above my desk, it is a compilation of some blogs posts that have inspired me, this one is going on it.

Blessings to you Deane.

Jenifer said...

This is great!! Thank you for sharing!