Christmas has been an awesome time for me this year, it has been so enjoyable. I am wondering now if I let the 'blues' or maybe Satan (I think sometimes we give Satan to much credit) get me down. I had been happy all day and then I got a phone call. I usually enjoy talking to this person but he was very obnoxious tonight which was very upsetting to me. I guess one thing lead to another, he was upsetting because of the way he was talking and acting. It started over something that should have been fun but it wasn't for him, he seemed to want to blame everyone for the whole thing and not stop to look at what he was saying and doing.
I told him I would make a phone call to see what I could do but it gave me time enough to really get upset...., angry is the correct word.
I would like to say this man has so much to be thankful for and I know he is. He has four wonderful children and two grandchildren and another one next year and a beautiful home. He and his family used to go to church and he was a deacon in the church they went to. Something happened and they quit going. It seems things have gotten worse for them and I tried to tell him they needed to get back into church. All I got was excuses.
I have to eat my words. What does the Bible tell me? Proverbs 15:1 tells me "A Soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger." I am not responsible for what he said but I am certainly responsible for what I said. We are supposed to commit things unto the Lord, Proverbs 16:3; "Commit thy works unto the Lord, and thy thoughts shall be established." Well, I would not want my words to be committed to God. I am ashamed of the way my angry words came from my mouth.
I can think of a lot of excuses why I got so angry but none of them are worth the way I must have made God feel, He knows the excuses I would use anyway. I know He forgave me when I asked for forgiveness but I know how I am feeling and I know He must have felt worse. Before I answered this man I should have asked for God's guidance and His will in my answers, not mine. We should always search for the Lord's will. This I did not do because I was so angry. My angry words stirred up more anger and hostility.
We were both angry, when people are angry they say things that should not be said. They say of words that are hurtful, once said can not be 'unsaid.' You can say you are sorry and ask for forgiveness but the hurt and memory of the words will still be there.
Ephesians 4:31-32; "Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: v.32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you." I certainly didn't put away any bitterness or anger. If I would have dwelled on what we both had said it could run rampant but the Holy Spirit spoke to me, I am so glad he did. The Lord wants us to be tenderhearted and kind to one another. We also need to forgive just as God has forgiven us for Christ's sake.
Wrath is a human thing but it is against the righteousness of God. We need to ask God to remove the anger from our heart before it becomes so big and starts to rule us. Even though I got angry I don't want to stay angry as I know this is not what God wants from me. How can I be more like Jesus if I let something like anger get in my way. I will continue to pray for God's guidance when I start to get angry. If I pray I will not find the words to become angry. Praise the Lord. I wish I had done that earlier tonight. Thank you Lord for your forgiveness for my anger tonight!!!!